


Lay Us Down

by sourirs (sourirpourmoi)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:42:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1384567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourirpourmoi/pseuds/sourirs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Panic! at the Disco's The End of all Things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

"What am I to you?" Stiles whispers into the pitch black of their night. Into the crook of Derek’s neck, sinking the words into his warm skin.

Derek stays silent, only wrapping his arms that little bit tighter around Stiles’ naked body.

There are clothes strewn on the floor, the blanket barely covering their bare skin. Uttered confessions, pleas, moaned out from Stiles’ lips just moments before fill the air with a tension, a substance.

"I told you-" Derek starts, his voice raspy in a way Stiles has come to memorize. Crave. "-I don’t want to label things, baby."

I don’t want you.

Stiles’ heart slams against his chest and he can’t- He can’t breathe.

Baby, he says, like it lessons the blow. Casual, common. Nothing.

Stiles was nothing to him but a warm body, nothing but a willing fuck. A pick me up.

He swallows the lump in his throat, fingers digging into the sheets and his teeth pressing harshly on his lip. He wills the tears, the bastard tears, from his wide eyes.

Derek makes a soft noise, a sweet sleepy grunt. It tears Stiles apart.

It’s bittersweet, how amazing Derek is at fucking him. For a few moments, a precious few, Stiles owns the man thrusting into him. He was Derek’s everything, making his eyes roll back, his breath quicken.

And then it stops and the doubt, the festering in his mind grows and grows.

Derek is asleep, his mouth open on Stiles’ forehead and his chest rising and falling slowly.

Stiles wipes the tears from his face with a shaky hand and tries to remember how it feels to have Derek Hale wrapped around him.


	2. Part 2

He can’t focus on the essay in front of him. The food tastes like poison and he’s hot, too hot. The words, Derek’s voice, flit in and out of his mind. His breath quickens and he’s-

He’s so angry. So angry at Derek.

Stiles clenches fistfuls of his jeans, jaw set and tense.

Scott doesn’t notice. Allison doesn’t notice. 

Derek doesn’t notice.

He walks across the hall, easy going smile on his face. Like he isn’t destroying Stiles.

Like he isn’t destroying himself.

There’s something tragic about being in love with a boy who has no idea how to love himself.

Stiles looks down at his phone, reads the words Derek had sent him just moments ago.

_I slept with her._

It doesn’t matter who. It doesn’t matter why. Whether he liked it. The only thing that matters is that Derek isn’t going to save himself.

And Stiles knows he’s breaking inside, knows he can’t do this thing with Derek anymore.

Stiles knows Derek is going to ruin himself.

He’s probably the only person who knows. 

He’s tried to save himself. He’s tried to delete Derek’s number, tried to ignore his drunken calls. There’s only so much he can take of being so close and yet, not helping. Not one bit.

It’s unhealthy. Derek’s codependence. Derek needs him, needs his kiss, needs his love. Needs anybody’s warm embrace and gently whispered nothings.

 At first, Stiles was thrilled. Surely, surely it meant Derek loved him. Wanted him.

 But he’s not a child anymore. Derek didn’t love him. Didn’t let himself love anyone and even if Stiles was his everything, he would never change.

  _Come round at one._

_Please._

Sometimes, Stiles would come so hard his entire body spasms, his vision blacks out and he whimpers.

Sometimes he’ll say words he knows mean everything, mean all that he is.

Sometimes when he comes back to himself Derek’s eyelashes are wet, tear drops splash onto Stiles’ sweaty skin and soft sobs wreck through his body.

 Stiles looks up, past Scott’s concerned face, past the couples sucking face on the tables, past the cigarette he was smoking and into Derek’s wide eyes.

 The smile slips from his devastatingly handsome face and in that second Stiles see’s the tortured soul inside of Derek, the part of him he hides with sleazy pick up lines and smoke.

 The part of him Stiles fell in love with.

  _Okay._ He sends back the text.

And he feels like he’s just covered Derek’s hand with his own, on the gun pointed to his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is love


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